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When you do not feel love for your wife or
husband.
Like weather human emotions also go through cycles and the
feeling of deep romantic love and bonding sometimes may fade.
But fortunately more often than not this fading is temporary.
Life normally returns to right track with full color after few days.
But abnormal things do happen and for some this phase of lack
of warmth may appear never ending. Quite often this lack of love
is accompanied by lots of bitterness and hostility.
Married couples -two otherwise good person can not withstand
each other, trait that was amusing or at least bearable becomes
nasty old habit.
The relation that was supposed to fulfill the need of love for
both becomes breeding ground of resentment.
Take the case of Roger and Tina: only after few years of his
marriage with Tina he discovered that the love-feeling for his
wife had left him for quite sometime. Instead he was full of
resentment towards her.
Roger says he is bitter and resentful because of the experiences
he had to go through in his married life. He complains Tina has
no initiative or motivation.
And she always whines for lack of money though Roger works
hard and earns good money to run the household, at the same
time he studies part-time to earn university degree.
One of the major complain of Roger that Tina is grossly over
weight but she does not engage in any physical activity or stop
eating fatty food to reduce body weight, as a result their sex life
is suffering, but she does not look bothered.
But in real life Tina is a wonderful woman. Who got overweight
after marriage. Tina herself is ashamed of this, plus this weight
problem and Roger’s reaction to it has caused erosion to her
self esteem and she keeps on eating junk food to keep her
depression away. This in turn causes further weight gain.
She thinks Roger could have motivated her to tackle the weight
problem with loving words of inspiration instead of sarcastic
comments.
And who knows, it might well be that her whining about money
is just subconscious desire to get even with Roger.
When young married people get trapped in such situations the
worst thing that happens is the person lose the faculty to look at
the real situation from a truly impartial angle.
Solution of such situations lies in looking at the problem without
bias, with the help of a qualified counselor if required. And
building the broken communication path which is surely got
damaged by the rough weather of the unfortunate period.
When one’s wife is not interested in sex:
Mr. A and Mrs B had got married around 7 years back.
Though their association has passed the test of time, it
is not totally successful.
Their marriage is plagued by Mrs. B’s lack of interest
to sex or any form of physical intimacy like hugging or
kissing. But the lady is healthy. And they do get physical
but only when the wife wants and initiates it. Any move
by the gentleman is always frowned upon.
Mainly on the insistence of the angry and depressed
Husband the couple had gone through few counseling
sessions. Counselor’s main advice to fill the relationship
with romance faced conscious resistance from the wife.
Effectively the sessions did not do much for the hapless
fellow.
This types of situations though not very frequently
encountered are not nonexistent. There are situations
when an woman for no apparent reason show lack of
interest in sex.
In most of the situations root of the problem is not lack
of sex drive of the woman. It is actually pent up resentment
manifesting lack of interest in physical love.
Also many times people associate certain things with things
totally unrelated. So if anyone experiences something bad
while making love she may subconsciously associate sex with
the bad experience as a result sex-aversion or lack of interest
in sex can develop.
Other than that when one person was not exposed to warm
and loving relationships in early days of life or when one’s
own parents mutual relationship was strained this type
of problem can crop up.
Dating and marriage are different games.
Ask right
questions before marriage.
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