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Pre-marriage counseling: Who needs it anyway?
An absolutely valid question precisely when the persons who
are on marriage path know each other for a certain period of time,
and love each other so much that they have decided to be wed locked.
More than that they don't believe there can be any issue, -if at
all one crop up ever, that two of them can not sort out themselves.
Yes, these points have merit. But pre-marriage counseling is not
only about checking compatibility of the partners before marriage,
once the mind has been made up. Its area of work is much wider.
What a marriage counselor can do is he can help the couple to
understand each other better: various aspects of character and traits
of the other person which one may miss when one is in love but
understanding of which is imperative. This level of deep understanding
is required for future success of the marriage.
Young persons who show the maturity to engage in a premarital
counseling session is smart enough to understand that nobody is
perfect and marriage can only be successful when both the members
are ready to adjust to a certain extent.
Many of the post marriage maladjustments are the result of mistake
of reading the other person wrong. Often it is seen two perfectly
normal and sincere persons can not continue in a marriage. Not that
they were not ready to make some adjustments here and there to make
the other person happy, but their basic understanding of the nature of
the other person was flawed, they did not know where exactly to make
the adjustments and how to make the other person happy.
A pre-marriage counselor's main responsibility is to help the
young couple before marriage to see and understand each other
very objectively. This often is the key to success as it helps to
shape one's expectations from the marriage. And when the marriage
is not starting with loads of unrealistic expectations its chance of
success is really high.
So, counseling is not something to be thought of only when you
are in trouble. You can intelligently use it for avoiding nasty
situations as well.
Now that you hear your wedding bells toll, it is perfect time to
engage in the most important homework which will keep you
ahead of most other not-so-savvy mortals.
Dating and marriage are different games.
Ask right
questions before marriage.
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